Wednesday, March 5, 2008

The Sanitation Situation

That's it. I've had it...I would like to report a crime. There is a conspiracy going on between Mother Nature and my trash company. I already knew that the latter were a bunch of thugs. This is clearly demonstrated by the fact that, although they claim Wednesday is my trash pick up day, they actually come to pick it up sometime between 2 & 3Am on Wednesday, which in my younger, glory days was not technically included in Wednesday as I had not yet bedded and ended the Tuesday portion of my week at that time. This latest transgression however has less to do with them and more to do with the fact that clearly Mother Nature - or should I call you Godmother Nature...yeah, that's right, I'm onto you - is the one orchestrating this heist...

The last two Tuesday nights have offered the absolute worst weather imaginable for placing trash outside...last Tuesday it was so windy that Dorothy whisked by me and asked if they were perchance serving peanuts on this flight. A quick bit of common sense and we were able to surmise that, lugging our trash bins out in this sort of gale would surely leave our unmentionables strewn across all of our neighbors' pristine, winter brown yards. Not wanting to be *those neighbors*, we opted to hold off and put out our trash this week. So last night, when we went to lug the refuse to the end of the driveway we opened the garage door, only to discover that, apparently last week's windstorm had transported our house, Dorothy style, to the Amazon. And it is apparently monsoon season. Due to not having braved the winds last week, our lids aren't shut...which means that the water streaming down from the sky would be joining our trash. Which would make the trash bins entirely too heavy for the thugs, I mean garbage collectors, to lift into the vehicle. It rained so much that our basement flooded. The sump pump is pumping it's little heart out. This is the first time that I have EVER heard it go on. We have been here almost 2 years.

So now we have to wait for next week. With 2 weeks of trash in the garage. My car is mad at me for locking it up in the garage with the trash, but someone has to keep an eye on it.

I'm not throwing anything out this, no more napkins, use your sleeves.

No comments: