Monday, November 3, 2008

My New Voicemail Message - In Open Letter Format

Dear Democratic Party,

If you are calling to badger me, yet again, about my choice of presidential candidate, please let me reiterate to you that I am voting for Obama...just as I was at 9AM, 11:30AM, 1:45PM, 3:20PM and at 4:45PM when you sent someone knocking on my door. I have been planning on voting for Obama since the moment that I knew the alternative. I even *voluntarily* put a (now purloined) Obama sign on my front lawn. (Granted, at least 60% of the reason that I did this was to needle my Republican friends, but still!) For heaven sake, stop stalking my vote.

I would like to ask though, that the dogged determination that you are displaying to check my position on the election be carried over, into the presidential term. It is my fondest wish to have a president that is as concerned about my opinion on the War in Iraq, the Bail out of the Banks and Gay Marriage as you are about my own, single, solitary, PRIVATE vote. Such an administration would truly be an inspiration and lend us all the sense that change was actually possible and on the horizon...I for one would gladly lay down my life for such a Commander in Cheif. If however, the calls stop on Wednesday morning, I have to admit, that I will feel sort of like the cheerleader that puts out on the first date...and then never gets a second call.

Yours Truly,
Duchess Pandora


For those of you following the epic battle of the girl-child's education, mark one in my column!

Today, while at the boy's school, we were in the copy room, making booklets for the class. These booklets are actually small books, called "Decodable Readers", that all of the first graders get every couple of days, to read in class. We discovered, a couple of weeks ago, that Sabrina is more than capable of reading these.

Today, we were reading the spellbinding "Wake up Nate!". Or rather, Sabrina was. Loudly. Well, who should walk in at that very moment but the principle of the school "Dr. FancyPants". This would be the same educator that assured me that making her wait would be better because that way she would be at the top of her class. And that I would be glad that we did when we get an extra year of having her at home before she leaves for college. And that he did it for his daughter, so it should be good enough for her too.

Well, he walked in and heard her reading, and commented, "Wow, that is some mighty good reading you are dong - how old are you?"

Sabrina: "I'm 5. And I go to kindergarten at home, with Mama."

DFP: "Oh, umm, I see..." looking at me, as it registers that I obviously have one child *in* school so there must be a reason that I am homeschooling this one "Wh-wh-what is your plan?"

Me: (heh, heh, heh...I have been WAITING for this very moment for MONTHS) "Well, you and I have exchanged NUMEROUS e-mails about this. She missed the cutoff by a couple of days...and her pre-school didn't want her to come back, because she is so beyond their curriculum. So I bought as much of the same curriculum as you used with my son, last year in Kindergarten and am using it with her, at home. We would like to have her in First Grade next year."

DFP: "Hmm, I ah, well, I think we will have to check with the Assistant Superintendent to see...I don't know if we ever thought about homeschool as being an acceptable, accredited school to substitute for Kindergarten...when is her birthday?"

Me: "September 12."

DFP: "Oh, well, my daughter was September 4th, and she was reading like well, maybe like this..."

Me:"Those are first grade books she is reading."

DFP:"Oh...well...umm...keep me posted on this..."

At which point he beat a hasty retreat back into his office. The look on his face said it ALL. He clearly knows she should be in Kindergarten now that he has met her, and seen her in action...if he had ever bothered to meet her when I first contacted him and asked him to, then we wouldn't be where we are today...but he didn't...and now he is going to have to explain to the school board why a homeschooler is challenging to be let into 1st grade on his watch.

The moral of the story?

Don't fuck with the mommy. She plays to win.


Somebody actually stole the Obama sign right out of my front yard. I don't even know what to say about that.

My kids are convinced that John McCain took it.

Sarah Palin *was* here last week to speak at the college...but I doubt there is a real connection.