Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Damn the Paparrazi

I have come to the conclusion that I feel for Britney Spears, really I do. Sure she has made a gigantic mess of her life and ruined more than one good thing, but beyond that, I am getting a small (OK, microscopic) taste of what her day to day - albeit somewhat self imposed - pursuits must feel like. Every moment of this woman's day is immortalized on film. Every breath, every scratch, every yawn, snap-snap-snap, captured for all to see and comment on.

How is it that I have developed a sudden sense of pity for the poor dear? Well, I find myself suddenly hounded by my own eager little press corp. Morning, noon and what passes for night around here, I am constantly at risk of being photographed living my life. I wash a dish, snap-snap-snap. I brush my teeth, snap-snap-snap. I take a 4th helping of chocolate covered pretzels out of the bag...you get the idea.

These "stalkerazzi" are persistent...they lay in wait pushing, shoving and jostling one another, angling to get the best shot of me doing...whatever it is that I am doing at that given moment. They capture my every folly from the most unflattering angles - seriously, has any good ever come from a camera lens being pointed UP at a person? Especially a person that has given birth to other people and does not have an army of trainers, chefs and stylists to ensure that all visual evidence of said offspring is erased from their visage?

Of course, unlike the Britster, I suppose I am fairly safe in trusting that these images will never be leaked to the internet, or sold to some seedy publication for countless sums...unless of course there is some seedy publication out there specializing in the day to day excitement that is generated by being a stay at home mom. Oh the luxury, the excess, the...yeah, didn't think so. If they do come out with one of those however, we might reconsider. Not only am I an amazingly UNintersting subject, but my shutterbugs aren't nearly technologically savvy enough to get the unauthorized images that they work so hard to accumulate off of their cameras.

I also suppose that, much like Ms. Spears, I have brought the constant glare of attention on myself...it was after all MY brilliant idea to get the children cameras for Christmas...ah well, I guess I should just go find myself a small dog to tote around and some enormous shades to hide my weary eyes...

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