What Doesn't Kale You...

And now...for something completely different and unexpected...a food tutorial type thingy.

Over the last year, the Pandora household has taken to expanding our dietary horizons and eating things we have never tried before. Specifically in the vegetable arena. Out of all of the new veggies that we added to our repertoire, kale is, hands down, the favorite.

Now, it has come to our attention that kale can be gross, if prepared the wrong way. So far, we have been lucky, and seem to have stumbled across a fairly fool-proof kale cooking method. (I hesitate to call it a recipe, as I am way too vague for that shit.)

I am nothing if not candid about the fact that, whenever possible, I'm lazy. For this reason? Unless I have no other option, I will always get the bagged kale, that is pre shredded or whatever. Go ahead, judge me. Heaven knows it won't be the first time.

Great, now that we have properly demonized me, let's dive in.

Large pan, olive oil, Minnie Mouse timer.

Start with a nice, big, deep pan that has a nice snug lid. 

Uncooked kale is fluffy. Cooked kale is not. It shrinks ALOT. 

And if it turns out really well? The last thing you want is to have half a bag of uncooked kale mocking you, while your plate and pan are empty. 

So you want a nice deep pan. Trust me on this. 

Add approximately 2-3 tbsp of olive oil, and heat it for about 2 minutes. 

Add 4-5 (or more, if you either fear vampires or want to repel any errant and unwelcome requests for a kiss) cloves of garlic, minced, or freshly pressed. 

Heat on low, until the garlic starts to get really fragrant...about 1 minute.

Note, this is *not* a heaping quantity.
This is about 1/3 the final heap

Add the kale. Heaping amounts of it. 

Turn it and flip it in the oil/garlic mixture, until it is well coated, then salt it.

Nice, secure lid...

Add about 1/3-1/2 cup of water, and cover the kale. 

Make sure the heat is on LOW, then walk away from it for about 3-5 minutes. Turn on a song, and dance your butt off. I highly recommend Jimmy Eat World, "In the Middle". It's about 3 minutes long.

Open the pan, stir and flip the kale, and sprinkle with rosemary and any other spice of your liking. 

Nom, nom, nom

Stir it, until the kale is evenly coated then re-cover. Ignore it for another 2 minutes or so. I find The Beatles, Blackbird, a great way to pass that time...and I attempt to sing along. This usually clears the room.

Add about 2 tbsp of balsamic vinegar, then cover again. Let cook for about 2 more minutes, shimmy around to The Kinks, You Really Got Me, remove from the heat and enjoy.

In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit that I tend to pick small pieces out, throughout the process and taste them, to determine if I want more salt or rosemary or whatever. I figure every batch is a little different, so go with it. That or I am hungry and have impulse issues. 

Its sure to be one of those.